02.13.2021 - week 92
our self absorbed thinking propels our sensitivity.
valentines day is this sunday, which is always one of my least favorite pastoral days. because inevitably, no matter how you recognize it or don’t, some small crew of people want to lament what you are doing or not doing and get all upset. like mothers day + fathers day + memorial day + july 4th, people tend to take your way of noting the occasion quite personally.
now to be clear, i love being a pastor. it’s just that these particular days on the calendar bring out something weird. take mothers day. no matter how you slice it … people have a thought
i am a woman who isn’t a mother and this offended me
i am a woman who wants to be a mother and this offended me
i am a woman who is a mother and despises my children and this offended me
i am a man who doesn’t like his mother and this offended me
i am a mother who wishes my mother was a better daughter to her mother and this offended me
etc etc etc etc ..
and of course these can all be valid feelings. it’s just that they are probably better dealt with the other 364 days of the year. the day set aside to honor people who died in a war or celebrating dads is probably not the day to explain why you have conflicted feelings. this is my opinion
most of us would acknowledge that our culture has become increasingly selfish and sensitive over the last few decades. perhaps one of the reasons this cycle continues is because we need every moment or occasion framed around our impulses.
what if … this valentines day if you aren’t in love, is an opportunity to celebrate people in your life who are. and what if, not being all offended about it is a wonderful way to practice humility.
phillipians 2:3 do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. rather, in humility value others above yourselves …
KG Korner
(a few wise words from lady kristen macdonald)
Why are steadfast love and faithfulness the characteristics that are so important? That’s the question that went swirling in my mind as I read and pondered these verses. What I found was super helpful.
Last week a friend of mine called me and shared her heart about the season she finds herself in. Her particular challenges feel unfair, complicated and that the trajectory of the circumstances are going to last a while. (Raise your hand if you’ve been there in 2020-early 2021 ;)) As I listened to her bear her soul I felt much compassion because with all these dynamics in play her only choice is to walk the road in front of her and her attitude and heart is the only piece she can mold. As we talked, the verse that came to mind was Colossians 3:23-24 which says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for me, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
I encouraged this friend with the simple but helpful phrase I’m sure you’ve heard before: do it as unto the Lord. God says right here in this verse that we aren’t to be serving men but in all things we are serving Him. Solid advice.
Fast forward to later this week as I found myself doing many tasks. Ugliness was rising up in my heart as I did them and the Lord brought to mind the “solid advice” that was perfect for my friend but was also perfect for the person in the mirror. I’m sure you’ve found yourself here too; when your eyes are on the circumstances or the people and not on the one who you love to serve, the heart behind it gets all jumbled up. Of course worship to God is as unto the Lord or helping to serve communion at church is as unto the Lord but so is
Loving your spouse when they’re difficult.
Praying for your child when you see no change.
Forgiving your family when you’ve been hurt by them.
Shoveling your driveway for the upteenth time in two weeks to bless your family.
Cutting out items for your children’s ministry.
Checking in on a friend even if they haven’t checked in on you.
This side of heaven you may not see the reward; but this verse promises that it indeed is coming. God sees the difficulty. God sees your effort. God sees your heart. When you work as unto him, he is pleased and blessed and I truly believe that those streets of gold in eternity are going to be far better than we could have ever dreamed.
#cupofleadership
but they stopped calling right when i needed them most
but she never even said she was sorry
but you haven’t heard what they said when i wasn’t around
but they ghosted me and all those promises they made
but they acted like it was a contract when they said it was a covenant
but but but but ….
now hear me clearly, i’m not advocating for some hippy-style reductionist, let’s just hug + smoke our way to peace nonsense. but i’m also not with the way things are usually done. i can do better. we can do better.
withholding relationship isn’t right. withholding kind words they are dying to hear isn’t kind. pretending things are fine while holding onto hidden bitterness is counterproductive. layering reason on top of reason why i shouldn’t have to do the simple right thing isn’t good.
just try. answer the text. say ‘i’m sorry we got here.’ reach farther than your flesh wants to.. love anyway.
book review
checking in: hospitality-driven thinking, business, and you — stephen j. cloobeck
this book is about the ‘meaning of yes,’ the author’s concept of radical customer service. similar in some respects to the mindset of zappos or nordstrom, but on a larger scale with more dollars in an individual transaction, what does it mean to be radically customer focused in the time-share industry? how do you treat each consumer of your product with deep respect and attention to detail?
taking a business notoriously oriented towards grifters and pressure selling and shifting towards prioritizing customers takes very strong leadership and commitment to the long haul. stephen cloobeck describes this journey. what i really liked in this book was the honesty. rather than a business memoir that paints a rosy perfect of the work up and to the right, the author shows struggles and victories in parallel. if you are trying to manage a congregation or customer base well, this book can help.
super christian guy
stuff for you to click on
i am having so much fun with good news weekly video edition … check out episode 5, my friend jon guerra stopped in and we had a great conversation.
this song has been in heavy rotation, a great prayer for this season in the world…